Thanks Lennox, I will follow on your hints
I have been thinking about having the users pm each other through connections, and disallowing all other ways of pm'ing. This site needs a very restricted way in which the users communicate with each other, so using the connection thing will be very acceptable. On the other hand, for the sake of reusability, perhaps a more general approach would be a better idea.
i am new to CB and uddim, so I will need to examin the code thoroughly before I get going...