odd enough, there really is no field referencing "gender" in "tablecolumns" of _comprofiler_fields
What I have done is to update cb_geschlecht.
The values are now 1 and 2, and the description is now männlich and weiblich.
So text gets displayed, and internally comprofiler uses integer values.
This configuration produces no error messages when users update their profile
Not sure why it suddenly decided not to work anymore, but it does now again. Thnaks for your time and support on this.